How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a book that introduces simple and life-changing concepts such as: A simple way to make a good first impression, how to criticize other people without being hated for it, how to become a good conversationalist, how to get people excited to do what you want, etc. Moreover, this is also one of Warren Buffett’s favorite book. In this week’s blog post, I will talk about the 5 key takeaways from How To Win Friends & Influence People. Let’s dive in.
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Dale Carnegie gives the example of Abraham Lincoln learning to never criticize or condemn anyone for anything. So when you think about criticizing anyone, ask yourself, “what would Lincoln do?” Then, give sincere appreciation to actions that you are happy with.
Lastly, how to make someone do something? By arousing in the other person an eager want. How can this be done? By stepping yourself in the other person’s shoes, and seeing how the situation best helps the person; by creating situations where the other person is felt important, prideful, and gets to express himself; by showing the end result of how amazing things can be; by making something exclusive/rare/limited, it creates a want in the person to buy/do the thing even more. - Simply listen and be interested in what the other person has to say. Read up on what the other person is interested in, and talk about that topic when you meet up with that person. Genuinely admire, appreciate, and make that person feel important. Smile, and don’t forget the person’s name. Always ask the person to talk about himself. People love to talk about themselves.
- Beginning with praise and appreciating softens the complains and criticism that you may have about a person’s work. Don’t use “but” after a praise, as it makes the praise that was before that word useless. Use “and” instead of “but”. Never point out mistakes; instead, do so indirectly. Author provides examples of Charles Schwab, who gave out cigars as treats to folks smoking in a non-smoking area, and Schwab then asked them to smoke the cigars outside. Other examples were of home construction contractors (who were not picking up the trash at the end of the day), of army haircuts, etc.
- Don’t worry about getting the credit as long as you are getting results – that’s all that matters. Let the other person have a vested interest in you/your project/product by asking him for his advise/opinion. After incorporating the other person’s advise, allow that person to decide for himself what he thinks about the final product/service. Let that other person feel that the final product was his idea.
- People will be a lot more cooperative with your requests/needs if you begin in a friendly manner. Praise and appreciate them, then bring up the issue that’s stressing you. Let the other person do the talking; make him feel important. It truly pays to sit there silently and listen to the other person talk.
In short, don’t criticize/blame, appreciate, listen, get the other person’s input, and make the other person feel important. Dale Carnegie provides numerous examples and various situations where his principles can be implemented. I would recommend this book to anyone who is trying to succeed in their business and personal lives. It is an easy, entertaining read, with valuable life lessons.
Hope you learned a little and found this blog post helpful. We talked about the 5 Key Takeaways from the book: How To Win Friends & Influence People. As always, you can sign up for our free mailing list here. You can sign up for our paid subscription services here. Like us on our Facebook page here. Subscribe to our YouTube channel. Thank you!
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